Undone
by Shyliasmommy24
Summary: When Jay is caught in the crossfire of a gang fight, its up to Connor tonsave his life. Secrets are revealed and Wills life comes undone before his eyes.
1. chapter 1

Authors Note:

I remember from the beginning of Med, when Connor first came into the hospital, that Will hated him. Seeing their interactions, i always thought they had more of a history together. I also got the impression that Will and Jays Dad was an ass. So I combined those two ideas and came up with this. This story took a mind of its own. It was intended to be a one-shot but it's open-ended, meaning if it gets enough reviews I might consider adding to it. This will be at the highest rating due to the content of the story. TW for abuse, suicide. Jay is included but is not added to the character list.

It was a pretty cold day. Will Halstead pulled his coat closer around him as he hustled inside. It was April, it wasn't supposed to be cold and snowing but Chicago, like much of the Midwest, was experiencing a cold snap. Winter just did not want to let go.

The emergency department at Gaffney was pretty busy. Doctors had been called in from other departments to handle the overflow of patients that were waiting. Those that weren't in dire straights were being to sent to other hospitals.

Will barely had time to hang his coat up before chaos erupted.

"We've got police incoming!" Maggie said.

Will hated hearing those words. Every time they had police incoming, Will prayed he wouldn't find his brother on the gurney.

"Ethan, you're going to Baghdad." Maggie told Dr. Choi.

Will watched as Ethan went running into the trauma room that they used for their more serious victims, those suffering from gun shots or stab wounds. The trauma room had been given the name Baghdad by Maggie and designated as Ethan's room. It had been done to try and help the man cope with his PTSD that he suffered from after having served in Baghdad. And much to Will's surprise, it had actually helped. Still, Ethan rarely let anyone else into the room while he was working.

Will walked in to see if the other doctor needed any help. And had to grab onto April for support to keep from falling to the ground. His worst nightmare confirmed, it was Jay on the gurney.

"Get Will out of here." Ethan said. "Maggie, get me Dr. Rhodes."

Connor came running into the room. "What have we got?"

Will was planted at the door, refusing to move.

"Will, I've got this." Connor told the younger doctor. "You need to give me room."

"I'm not leaving." Will Said, looking the older man in the eye. But one look from Connor told Will this wasn't up for debate and if he didn't move now, Connor would forcibly move him. So Will went reluctantly to the doctors Lounge.

"Gun shot wound to the chest, hit a main artery. He's lost a lot of blood." Ethan told Connor.

"Get him up to the OR now." Connor said. "There's nothing I can do down here."

"Connor, he's already lost a lot of blood." Ethan said. "If we move him now without stabilizing the wound first, he'll bleed out and likely die. Then Will will kick your ass."

That was the last thing Connor wanted. He knew Will and Jay were all the other had. For Will, despite their differences, he would do whatever was in his power to save Jay. He stabilized the wound enough to stop the bleeding long enough to move the man to the OR. He followed him up, calling for Dr. Latham as he did so.

A couple hours later, Connor found Will, stretched out and asleep on the couch in the doctors lounge. He went over and gently shook the younger man."Will?"

Will groaned and opened an eye. "Whasit?" He slurred, still half asleep.

"Jay is out of surgery." Conner told him. "He lost a lot of blood, but we gave him a transfusion and he's going to be fine, Will. He'll make a full recovery. The bullet didn't damage any major organs."

"A transfusion, how? You didn't have time to test everyone for a match."

"I was a match." Connor told him matter-of-factly. "He's going to be fine, Will." The older doctor walked towards the door.

"You know if anyone finds out, you'll get busted and maybe even lose your license." Will told him.

Connor raised an eyebrow. "Finds out what? I operated on a patient, like I always do. You couldn't, because it would be a conflict of interest."

"It was a conflict of interest, Connor. If Goodwin finds out, we'll both be in trouble."

"Unless you plan on telling her, she's not going to find out." Connor said. "Jay needed help. Latham and Bekker were both in surgery, I was the only surgeon around. That's all anyone needs to know."

Will sighed. "And when Jay wakes up and discovers your his doctor, then what?"

"I go about business as usual." Connor told him. "It's almost shift change anyway and I doubt Jay will wake up much before morning. Besides, as far as anyone knows, I'm a Rhodes, not a Halstead."

"It's not our fault you changed your name." Will muttered bitterly.

Connor sighed. "No it's not. There's a lot of reasons for what I did and maybe when your actually ready to listen to me, I will tell you. But your too stubborn."

Will glared at him. "I'm going to see Jay."

"I'll be up in a bit to check on him." Connor said, his eyes following the younger man out of the room.

"Dr. Charles, do you have some time to talk?" Connor asked, walking over to the psychiatrist.

"Uh, sure Dr. Rhodes, follow me into my office." Dr. Charles said, leading the younger man into his office. He took a seat at his desk. "What's up? It's not often my colleagues wish to chat. Is everything okay?"

"No, not really." Connor said. "I did something illegal, that if Goodwin finds out will likely cause trouble for the hospital."

Dr. Charles raised an eye. "Really?"

"You know that cop that was brought in earlier?"

"Jay Halstead, Will's brother." Dr. Charles responded.

"He's, um, my brother too." Connor said.

That threw the psychiatrist for a loop. Rather than saying anything, he nodded, encouraging the younger doctor to continue.

"I know Will doesn't talk about his father much. I also know he was here in the emergency department a few weeks ago." Connor said. "The man's an ass, Dr. Charles. He was abusive towards my mother and us as kids."

Dr. Charles made an uh-huh noise to indicate he was listening as he allowed Connor to say what was on his mind.

"He attempted a murder-suicide one night. I was 13, Jay was six and Will was four. I was at a basketball game and I came home to the house smelling of gasoline. I saw the lighter in his hand and I tackled him and grabbed the lighter. When the cops came, he told them I tried to set the house on fire and because the lighter was in my hand, that made me look guilty. He ended up divorcing my mother, on the grounds that I was dangerous and my mom was told if she ever wanted to see Jay and Will again, she had to commit me. She refused, she took me and ran away and ended up meeting my father - the man who raised me."

"What was the reason he gave for you starting the fire?" Dr. Charles asked.

"Jealousy." Connor said. "He claims I was jealous of my brothers."

"Were you?" Dr. Charles asked him.

"No, of course not." Connor told him. "Why would I have been? I protected them. I loved my brothers - I still do."

"Do they know this?"

Connor sighed. "No. Well, Jay might know some of this but Will, he was so young and now he's just so damn stubborn he refuses to hear anything I have to say."

"Maybe you have to make him listen." Dr. Charles suggested. "I really think he needs to hear this. You've carried this guilt for so many years." He was quiet for a minute then he looked at Connor. "So what did you do that was illegal?"

"I operated on Jay." Connor told him. "I had no choice, Latham and Bekker were both busy and I was the only surgeon."

"Ah." Said Dr. Charles. "Yeah, if Sharon finds out, you could be in some serious trouble. Also for lying."

"I've never lied." Connor told him. "My name was legally changed to Rhodes after my stepdad adopted me. The only thing I've lied about is my relationship to Will, and he doesnt seem to want anyone to know the truth, so I'm not going to say anything until he's ready."

"Dr. Rhodes, you're needed in the OR." Came the page over the loud speaker.

"Thanks for listening, Dr. Charles. It felt nice to get that all off my chest." Connor told the psychiatrist as he walked out of the room.

By the time Connor had gone to check on Jay, the veteran was in the middle of a full blown panic attack. Sweat was trickling down his face and his breathing was erratic. His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath. April was trying to hold a mask to his face to at least allow him oxygen but Jay wasn't having it, clawing at the mask to get it off.

"Jay!" Connor said, making a move to put a hand on the other man's shoulder. But before he could, his hand was caught by Ethan.

"Don't touch him." Ethan said firmly as he moved to the side of the bed. "Jay, it's Dr. Choi. You're at Chicago Med, you were caught in the fire of a gang fight. April has an oxygen mask held to your face so you can breathe. Please don't hurt my nurse or unfortunately I'll have to restrain you until you calm down."

Jay calmed down a bit until the beeping of the heart monitor indicated his heart rate was steady again.

"Jay?" Ethan said. "Can you hear me?"

Jay nodded. His throat was so dry he couldn't even swallow. April put a water cup to his lips and told him to drink slowly.

"Do you know where you're at?" Ethan asked.

"Med." Jay croaked hoarsely.

"Do you know what day it is?"

"April 6th."

Ethan held a pen light up, moving it back and forth between Jays eyes. "Do you know who I am?"

"Dr. Choi." Jay responded.

Ethan nodded, satisfied, and turned to Connor. "I'll give you your patient back. Word to the wise, don't ever touch a veteran who's in the midst of a PTSD-induced panic attack. He could have seriously hurt you." And with that, he left the room, April following after him.

Jay woke up a few hours later, taking deep breaths to stop the oncoming panic attack he felt. He glanced around the room, allowing his eyes to adjust. Will was asleep on the chair and Connor was stretched out on the couch, reading a magazine. His eyes immediately went to Jay when he groaned. "Will?" He managed to say.

"Hasn't left your side all night, despite repeated attempts at trying to get him to go home." Connor told him, reaching to turn on the light in the room.

As if hearing his name, Will groaned and opened his eyes. Light assaulted his vision and he blinked his eyes into focus.

"I must be dead if you two are in the same room together." Jay mused.

Will rolled his eyes. "Both our shifts ended hours ago." He told his brother. "I refused to leave your side so Connor decided he needed to stay too. Not that I needed him to."

"I wanted to." Connor said. "I have nothing at home waiting for me. Better to be here, around people who at least semi-like me, then be at home, alone."

"I wouldn't even say semi-like you." Will replied.

"Will... please quit." Jay told his younger brother. He turned to Connor. "I'm glad you stayed."

Connor gave him a small smile then stood up and stretched. "I'll go get Dr. Nichols. He told me to let him know when you woke up." He said, walking out of the room.

"Ethan told me you almost knocked Connor on his ass earlier. I wish you would have." Will told his brother.

"Will, I was having a panic attack. You know better than anyone not to surprise me during one." Jay said. When Will had first come to Chicago to visit his older brother, he'd barely been out of med school, was still just a kid in Jays eyes. He'd had the bright idea to lurk around the corner in Jays apartment and surprise his brother as Jay was getting out of bed. That hadn't gone as planned and had ended with Will on the floor, Jay sitting on top of him, twisting his arm behind his back and Will screaming until he'd snapped out of it.

"I still wish you would have." Will said.

Jay sighed. "When is this feud between you two going to stop?"

"When he admits to what he did." Will said. "When he quits denying it."

"Maybe you should just listen to him, Will. Give him the benefit of the doubt." Jay told his brother.

"I have before. He couldn't tell the truth if his life depended on it." Will responded. "But fine. For your sake, I will listen to him. Then I will kick his ass to the curb, where he belongs."

The next few days, between his shifts and on his breaks Will was at his brothers side.

"Will, it's your lunch break. Why don't you go get something to eat? It's not like I'm going anywhere and besides, I can hear your stomach rumbling from over here. You missed breakfast again, didn't you?"

"Overslept." Will told his brother. Will had had to be forced to leave the hospital last night. Sharon had told him he was a mess and if he didn't come back looking like he'd had some sleep and smelling like he'd showered, she'd suspend him until Jay was released. That had been the only reason he'd left. He'd been so exhausted that he'd fallen asleep without setting his alarm and had overslept. When he'd rushed in this morning, a half hour late, apologizing profusely, Maggie had just smiled at him and assigned him a patient.

"My point exactly." Said Jay. "You're not doing anyone any good by not sleeping, not eating, and no offense but I agree with Sharon, you need a shower. Besides," Jay said, attempting a smile, "I love you, little brother, but you are driving me more crazy than these damn monitors and if you don't get out of my hair for a little while, I'm going to go ranger on your ass."

Jay was a Ranger in the Army, so Will took the threat seriously. "Alright, fine. But only because I am starving. Do you want anything from the cafeteria?"

"Coffee." Jay told him. "Make me feel somewhat human again." The fact that his brother had gone so long without coffee was an amazing feat, as Jay was cranky without his morning fix of coffee.

"Got it." Will said, walking out of the room and taking the staff elevator down to the cafeteria, which was packed with people who were visiting patients.

"Can I join you?" A voice asked. "Every other table is taken."

Will glanced up to see Connor standing there, his own lunch tray in his hands. He nodded, too tired to argue. "Sure, help yourself."

Connor sat down opposite the ED doctor. "It's busy here today."

"It's why I usually choose to eat in the doctors lounge." Will replied, taking a bite of his burger. "But Jay wanted coffee and the coffee here is better."

"Because it's fresh. Nobody in that ED knows how to make a good pot of coffee." Connor said with a chuckle as he took a bite of his salad. "So I hear Jay may be released tomorrow. That's great news."

"Yeah." Said Will. "With two weeks off work to recover fully, then he'll be right back out there getting shot at."

"And you'll be back to patching him up, like always. Even as kids, when Jay got hurt you were the one to patch him up." Connor remembered with a laugh.

"Why did you leave, Connor?" Will asked suddenly. "I woke up to find my big brother gone - Well one of them anyway."

Connor sighed. He'd been waiting for this. "He made me stay away."

"He?" Will frowned. "You mean Dad?"

Connor nodded. "Dad blamed me for trying to start the fire. I didn't do it but because I tackled the lighter out of his hands and was holding it when the cops showed up, it got pinned on me. He branded me a psychopath and gave Mom an ultimatum - it was either commit me to an institution or never see you and Jay again. She did what she had to do."

"Why didn't she take us?"

"She tried, Will. You don't remember because you were so young but I do. It was a bitter custody battle, with Dad blaming the fire on me, telling the judge I tried to set the fire out of anger. Ultimately the state of Chicago awarded custody of you two to him, with the condition that Mom could see you two if she got me help. Her and my Dad tried for years to bring you two to live with us but to no avail."

"No, we had to suffer his abuse. Jay took the brunt of it." Will said bitterly.

"As I did for the two of you." Connor told him. "When Mom and I left, I told Jay it was up to him to protect you."

"So Mom didn't die of cancer as we were told."

"She did not." Connor confirmed. "I was sixteen. I came home from school to see all the first responders. She was on the ground, a white sheet over her. Her neck snapped from where she'd hung herself."

"Why'd she do it?" Will asked.

"My Dad told me she'd called you. It was your ninth birthday and she'd called to wish you a happy birthday."

"And I told her I hated her." Will said quietly. "I remember. So it's my fault."

"No Will, it's not." Connor told him firmly. "She was sick, she'd been sick for awhile. I blamed HIM, not you. Never you. You were a child, you didn't know those words were going to be the ones that made her snap."

"He made me say that." Will said.

"I know." Connor said, finishing his salad. "So did she. But trust me, she was proud of you and Jay. She'd be proud of who you are now."

"You know, when he was here in the ED, everyone thought he was a nice guy, they couldn't understand my issues with him." Will said. "He wanted me to go straight to work after I graduated, I wanted to go to college. He got mad, told me if I decided on more school, I was on my own, he wouldn't help me. After I graduated, I applied to NYU and got in. I couldn't get the hell out of Chicago fast enough. I worked three jobs just to support myself and get through school. Jay thinks I abandoned him, but I just couldn't be around Dad anymore."

"Jay knows you didn't abandon him." Connor said. "But he thinks I did, thinks Mom did."

"Jay did whatever he thought was pleasing to Dad." Will said. He had finished his burger and started on his fries, just now realizing how hungry he had been.

"I've been thinking about rededicating the psychiatric ward." Connor spoke suddenly. "I'd like you and Jay to be part of it."

"I'd like that." Will said with a nod. "I'm sure Jay would, too."

"Are you still a sci-fi nerd?" Connor asked him.

Will had always loved sci-fi. Probably because it allowed him to escape his real life and go to a magical place for a couple hours before having to deal with reality again. "Yes." He said.

"I remember times as a kid when you were sick and you and I would spend hours watching movies. I think we went through all of Star Trek in a day." Connor said with a chuckle. "I've got a pretty decent sci-fi collection, if you ever want to come dig through it."

"Maybe." Said Will. "We should get back to Jay." Will went to get his brothers coffee and the two made their way back to Jay.


	2. Chapter 2

Undone

Chapter 2

Authors Note: First, thank you all for the wonderful reviews. My muse finally decided to come back to this story (I wish he'd come back to my novel he left me in) so since people wanted me to continue, that's what I will do. Second, in this chapter we will see Pat. Daddy Halstead visits Jay and a confrontation ensues. We'll learn more about Connors past.

"You little idiot!" Pat Halstead screamed at his middle son. "How many times have I told you, don't fucking touch stuff that doesn't belong to you!"

"I - I'm sorry." Jay said in a small voice, shrinking back from his fathers anger.

Pat raised a hand. Behind him, Will screamed. "No Daddy, stop!" Pat went to strike Jay but found himself shoved backward by a pair of hands. "You little..."

Connor placed Jay protectively behind him as the 13-year old stared down his father. "Don't you touch him." He said, anger seeping into his voice. Will was sobbing behind him.

Pat struck Connor instead, who didn't even flinch. "Get the fuck out of my house!" Pat yelled at him.

Jay flicked his eyes open. The hospital room was dark, the only light being the moonlight streaming through his window. He was alone in the room, having sent his brothers home hours ago. Alone except for a floor nurse doing her rounds, who was now checking his vitals. She gave him a wide smile. "Good evening, Detective."

Jay yawned. "What time is it?"

"Well I guess it's good morning. It's 2:05am." She told him. "How do you feel?"

He felt fine, except for his abdomen hurting where he'd been shot. Connor had told him it would hurt for awhile. "Fine." He told her.

"Any pain?"

"Only in my abdomen where I was shot." Jay told her. "Nothing to terribly bad."

"Do you want any pain meds?" The nurse asked.

"Not at the moment. It's tolerable." Jay said.

She smiled. "Right. Then you call me if you need anything. Good night. Oh," she said before leaving, "tell that brother of yours I said hi."

Jay chuckled. "Which one?" Not many people knew that Connor was his brother. Will wasn't too quick to tell anyone and neither was he.

She looked at him, confused. "The red-head. The one who works in the ED."

They both did but Jay was having fun confusing her. "I will." He told her before she left. Not that it'd do any good. Will had eyes for nobody but Natalie.

"It's either him or us, Elizabeth." Pat told his wife. He knew giving her an ultimatum, forcing her to choose between sons was wrong, but he didn't trust Connor. The boy had proven himself to be unstable multiple times. "You commit him, get him the help he needs, and you'll be able to see Jay and William. If you don't, I can't let you see them."

"Making me choose between sons, that's not fair Pat. Why can't I get Connor the help he needs here?"

"Because I don't want him near the other two." Pat told her. "He's unstable, Elizabeth. I don't trust him."

"He's your son, Pat." Elizabeth cried.

"I still don't trust him."

Connor stood on the stairs, listening to everything, no emotion on his face. He looked at Jay who was behind him. "You're the big brother now." He told him. "You need to watch out for Will, keep him safe. I will find you two again, I promise."

The next time Jay woke, it was morning. Not the middle of the night morning like the first time he'd woke, but the sun streaming through the windows morning. He remembered Connors last words to him clearly, the dream forcing him awake. When he looked around, Connor was gone and Will was on the couch, watching the highlights of last nights Hawks game on the muted TV. For a moment he wondered if he'd been dreaming this whole time. When he first saw Will and Connor in the same room, without fighting, he thought he'd died. Only in death would Will be able to stand next to Connor and actually act like a human being towards him.

"Easy." Will told him, his eyes automatically flicking to the monitors, checking vitals. It was the doctor in him and no matter who the patient was it was ingrained in Will to do so whenever someone woke. "Connor went to get some coffee."

"So this wasn't a dream? Connors really here?"

"Yes Connors really here." Will assured his brother. "And he'll kick both our asses if you rupture those stitches and he has to redo them, so stay still."

"I gave up caring a long time about what you thought about me." Connors raised voice came from the hallway.

"Stuck on yourself like you always were. You haven't changed." Pat Halsteads voice came next.

Will and Jay looked at each other.

"Who the hell called Dad?" Jay asked.

"I sure as hell didn't." Will said, getting up and walking into the hallway. "What's going on?"

"I came to visit your brother and found him," Pat said, pointing at Connor, "lurking outside the room."

Will drew in a slow breath. "First off, his name is Connor." He told his father. "And he's not lurking. He works here, and Jay is technically his patient and he has every right to be here."

"So they let criminals work here now?" Pat sneered at Connor. "I bet if they found out what you did, they'd boot your ass out the door just like I did."

"Dad..." Will said with a warning tone. "This isn't the place."

"Tell me what it is you think I did." Connor said. "You think I tried to kill my own mother and my brothers? You still haven't told them the truth, have you, after all these years?"

"You little..." Pat trailed off.

"What? Can't face the truth? You were drunk and we're going to start the fire."

"Connor..." Will said, realizing they were gathering an audience.

"No Will, you need to hear this."

"Dr. Rhodes, I need to speak with you." Will told him, pulling him into an empty room. "Chill."

"He came at me, Will." Connor said defensively.

"I know." Will said. "I'm not surprised. But be the better person, Connor. And if I hadn't pulled you away and Sharon found out, imagine the trouble."

"I'm in trouble anyway once she finds out you're my brother. You know he's going to say something."

"Dads an ass but he has a soft spot where Jays concerned." Will said. "I'll smooth things over. You just relax. Jays been asking for you."

"Dad," Will said, coming out into the hallway again. "We're going to let Connor check on his patient and you and I are going to go get some lunch." He put a hand on his fathers shoulder and turned him in the direction of the elevator.

Pat slapped his hand away. "Get your damn hands off me."

Things were back to normal between them. It was a relationship Will had grown accustomed to over the years. The man couldn't say a nice word to someone if it killed him, it didn't matter if it was his own son. Will had only ever heard his father tell him he was proud of him once and that had been only after both Jay and Will had forced their father into a hospital bed much to the mans displeasure. Before they'd sent him home, Pat had told him that despite everything, he was proud of the man he'd become.

"Why is he here?" Pat asked. "He tried to kill you boys when you were younger."

Will knew his father had been drinking, he could smell the alcohol on his breath. That was how Pat Halstead lived his life though, ever since his wife had walked out on him. Both he and Jay had tried so hard not to become their father but Will was afraid of slipping into that dark place that overtook his father. "He works here." Will repeated. "He's a cardiothoracic surgeon."

Pat momentarily seemed impressed before his features hardened again. "But seriously, why? He's a criminal."

Will sighed and ran a hand tiredly through his red hair. All he really wanted to do right now was go home and sleep. But between working and camping out in Jays room, that wasn't going to happen until his brother was released. "It's water under the bridge." He told his father. "Connor and I have mended fences."

"About that, Will..."

"Dad, I don't need to know anything." Will told him. "I can make my own decisions. Connor is my brother and I've made the decision that I want him in my life again. And I don't care what may or may not have happened. What Jay needs right now is his family, all of them, to get along. We're all each other has anymore."

Pat looked back at Jays room. They'd never made it to the cafeteria. Connor was smiling and laughing at something Jay had said and for a minute, it warmed his heart seeing all three of his boys together again. Will, with his mess of red hair, had always been the odd one out of his fair haired and darker haired brothers. He walked into Jays room, put one arm around Will and the other around Connor and smiled. "My boys together again. My two doctors and my cop. I couldn't be more proud of you three."

Authors Note: Has Pat really redeemed himself? In the next chapter, Will and Connor bond some after years apart. Don't worry, Jay will be out soon, I promise. Keep the reviews coming!


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